A rough cut

From Wes-

I have recently been wrestling with a measure of discontent at work.

For almost 30 years my dad has worked for Federal Express. He is a smart and talented man capable of succeeding at many life ventures. He has a knack for knowing how to do things that he has never done before, be it carpentry, construction, mechanics, pluming, masonry, stained glass, you name it, and my dad could do it. Of these skilled labors, he succeeds most evidently in carpentry. He is a master at turning a slab of wood into something beautiful.

Maybe what is equally impressive is his perseverance. I mean, 30 years of blue collar work and never once have I heard him ache and groan for something else. It seems like he decided a long time ago that this is what he wanted to do with his life. I am proud of him for it.

Meanwhile, I set at a computer desk, in my temperature controlled office, with the kitchen and its beverages just a walk down the hall. I feel spoiled and selfish.

I wonder sometimes if it is truly God's call in my life to be a full-time professional minister/missionary or if it is more so a desire to be doing something “else”. Believe me; I know that there are plenty of moments in ministry that aren't "fun". With the world and all of its brokenness, and a life dedicated to a ministry of reconciliation, it can’t be all fun.

I ache to be used in bigger ways for God’s glory.

Sometimes I feel like that “slab of wood” that my dad picks out to do something special with. I feel dull, rough to the touch, rawness, but wanting to be turned into something profound, something beautiful. I wait patiently and prayerfully as parts of who I am are chiseled slowly away. Those parts of who I am are given up often times too begrudgingly. I get impatient, anxious for the next stage in life and a clearer image of who I am supposed to be.

This ancient hymn is the song of my heart this morning.

Oh! To be like Thee, oh! To be like Thee,
Blessed Redeemer, pure as Thou art;
Come in Thy sweetness, come in Thy fullness;
Stamp Thine own image deep on my heart.
-Thomas O. Chisolm